Emily Tang (495200093)
Instructor Beatrice
Composition & conversation
Journal 3
Dec. 6 2006
A True Rocker
As long as you stay with me longer than ten seconds, you would know the fact that I’m a hopeless heavy metal addictor. I consider this kind of music as part of my spirit and can not imagine how colorless life would be without the noises of heavy metal. But recently, out of my innovative and creative personality, I gradually thought that it was not enough for me to be only a listener.
Under the circumstances of my familiarity of something, it is my custom to create a new one based on my knowledge combined with personal features, and heavy metal as well. With the above-mentioned conditions, doubtlessly, after immersing in this kind of music for so long, it was my destiny to have my own band. After carefully thinking, I had chosen to be the bass player and had set up a plan. In order to reach my goal, I actively found a good teacher, undergoing a whole year painstaking bass training and confident in my performing ability.
As a bass player, instead of being the main melody of a band, I clearly knew that my duty is to create a firm background rich in rhythms to sketch the sounds of vocal and guitar. In other words, I will not become the leading melody of the music. Due to this fact, instead of playing alone, I have to find other good players to compose a band.
I’m totally not the kind of people who passively wait for opportunity to come, so I took initiative in approaching the true rockers. Before I did so, I have spent time considering whether it was suitable or not because of the bad impressions rockers have offered, including smoking, sex obsession and other awful indulgences. However; my desire of having a band was too strong that made me think it worth the risk to get close to those people.
As if god had discovered my deepest hope and willing to give me a hand, my bass teacher one day should tell me that one of the heavy metal bands was lacking in a bass player and he had already recommended me to be the one. I appreciated him for his kindness and soon had my first practice with my band members. The moment we met each other, I got the strange feeling as if we had met before. We made good cooperation and everything went smoothly until today.
I’m happy to see myself become a true rocker.
The Triumph of Mephistopheles
“The Triumph of Mephistopheles” will be my next novel. Due to the plan that I should publish it before the end of next September, “The gardener” is one of its short stories I’m now working on. The reason why I chose over the Triumph of this ancient devil as book title is due to the changes of my inner concept.
I have changed my definition toward devil. Instead of the real figure it belongs to, now I would rather consider devil as kind of cold wills without shape but long exist in human spirits and strong enough to eliminate so called ’conscience’ and average morals in our inner self. In my opinion, all rules, laws and countless punishments are set to refine people from acting sin, they can not truly stop people from doing that but more like a threat which inform you the consequence of your movements.
So, as far as I’m concerned, all regulations were set based on the unreal hypothesis that people would afraid of its punishment thus won’t commit those crimes. But what if there should be people care no about the punishment and firm in acting sins? I thought all scary punishments at this stage would do no miracle to this kind of person.
For example, forgive me for my mean instance, but this is the best instance I could think of. If some one had set their goal to kill other regardless of how awful the consequence would be, maybe sentenced to death or end up dying in prison. Though he must accept the punishment but the victim’s life could never regain. And what’s worse, the killer would never feel sorry of what he have done because he was deeply dominated by the cold will, the devil.
That’s why I called those cold wills as devil. But in my new book, the cold wills are not all bad intentions but mostly are strong determinations to complete something by characters’ own life, including the determination to live under the sun, the determination to complete a non-objective painting by character’s own blood and etc.
I’m still working on it, still trying to find the best way to reveal my concept among the stories. And it might take me a lot of time.
Suffocation
Too busy recently, my dear god, busy to the point. It’s totally out of my expectation that I should spend all weekends completing my assignments, setting rigidly in the same posture in front of the computer screen like what I am doing now. Though I know making complain really do little help to my poor present situation, and these words would turn out to be meaningless sounds, just like sick beast’s cureless moaning. But yes, I’m going to complain for my suffocation.
Recalling what I have done this week, I have been busy preparing for the picture spot of formal dance and also have to take charge of the decorating part for the future Christmas song performance. My god, combined these missions with journal, presentation and Chinese assignments, I always had to burned a mid-night oil doing these things. When the alarm clock again violently pulled me out from my dream of chaos, I felt as if I were a lifeless corpse again crawling out from the dark, wet tomb.
Oh, how cruel the sun light, you bitterly remind me of things I haven’t done as the way you prick my eyes. I had no choice but to move forward and forward, move like a beggar. Than night came again, blurred the sky as my thinking ability was blurred. It was true that I need more sleep, ideally sleep from now on until September ends.
Thanks for paying attention, it is totally nothing but a meaningless moaning of a living dead.
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